Dating Gone Wild: Valentine’s Day
Ann Arbor, MI - Amid the many stories of glee and bliss emanating from Monday night’s annual celebration of the most precious of emotions, love, rises a story that has people scratching their heads far and wide.
A hullabaloo broke out at the Ann Arbor Movies 16 when graduate student Phillip Loyter verbalized his discomfort with a funny smell in the theatre.
He was at the new movie “Hitch” on a tail end of a Valentine’s Day date with University of Michigan sophomore Becky Johnson. It was their third date.
“We walked in to the theatre and as we were taking our seats, behind some elderly women, I detected a god awful smell and nearly lost my dinner,” said Loyter. “I whispered to my date that it really smelled bad in there and that the old ladies in front were gassing the place up. Becky gave me a crusty look and ran out of the theatre screaming and in tears. I just stood there like ‘what the [expletive] was that all about?”
After gathering himself, Loyter followed his date out into the theatre lobby and caught up to her just as she was exiting to the parking lot. The scene caught the attention of an off-duty policeman who’s instincts told him to phone in a disturbance to the Ann Arbor police department.
When police arrived a few minutes later, they found Loyter and Johnson talking on the sidewalk of the movie theatre. Johnson was still crying and visibly very upset with Loyter. Sergeant Dan Brower approached the couple and asked if he could assist young Johnson.
“She told me that I could help by teaching her date a lesson about being polite. I asked if she was hurt or if her date had ‘roughed her up’. She told me her feelings were hurt because her date caught her farting in the theatre and made a sarcastic remark about it. I’ve never seen a case like this before,” said Sergeant Brower.
After this startling confession, Phillip Loyter looked at his date and asked if it was really her that had caused the smell in the theatre, which really didn’t help matters. When no response (other than more sobbing) was issued by Johnson, Loyter asked if he could give her a ride home and end the evening.
Johnson got a ride from Sergeant Brower instead. Loyter told CredibleReport afterwards that he had no intention of ever asking out young Johnson again once he discovered the true source of the theatre’s stench.
Good thinking, Phil.