TSA to Require All Passengers Use “beano” Before Flying
Deemed a trouble-maker, flatulence has been banned by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). In an effort to aid all airline passengers, a new policy has been implemented which requires the use of a natural enzyme product, beano, prior to boarding the plane.
The new policy was created at least in part due to security concerns on a recent American Airlines flight where a passenger lit matches to cover the odor of her gas.
“We just can’t let anyone light matches on planes, willy nilly,” said TSA representative Jim Smoot. “And we surely can’t allow them to use liquid or gas based products like Lysol to deodorize, so naturally we have turned to the all-natural solution: beano.”